Dungeons and Drag Ons
by Matt Briddell
Summary: C4: The quest ends and Pietro gets what's coming to him. After yet another defeat, Pietro tries to develop better cohesion among the Brotherhood using everybody's favorite role playing game. Something tells me he'd probably be better off using superglue.
1. The Quest Begins, sort of

A troll wiped his nose with the disclaimer saying that I do not own any characters depicted in X-Men: Evolution.  
  
This story takes place after "The Toad, the Witch, and the Wardrobe," Pietro tries to motivate the Brotherhood to better cohesion with some old- fashioned Dungeons and Dragons. Never mind that this will make them even geekier than the X-Men.  
  
Remy stood in the living room of the Brotherhood's house, giving them a progress report. He was less than thrilled with their latest performance, and he was letting them know about it in no uncertain terms.  
  
"The bottom line is, Magneto is not satisfied with your progression. Right now, I'd say your chances at being admitted to his ranks are somewhere on the none side of slim. Just a little food for thought," Remy said haughtily, and walked out the door.  
  
Lance slammed the door of the Bayville Boarding House that served as the Brotherhood's place of residence as Remy stepped down off the porch. He was getting tired of constantly being evaluated and told that they weren't good enough. And mostly, he was getting tired of Pietro. If he had had it his way, he would have been perfectly happy to just blow off Magneto completely and go back to school. Who knows, maybe he and Kitty would have been able to get back together. But ever since Pietro had come back to "lead" them, life among the Brotherhood had been less than pleasant.  
  
Pietro got up and picked up where Remy left off. "You heard what the man said, you still aren't cutting it! Do you guys even WANT to join up with Magneto?"  
  
"Now that you mention it." Lance said threateningly.  
  
"I thought you did," said Pietro, ignoring Lance's hostile tone. "That's the way to show your determination, no matter how many times you keep failing. Now, I think I've been able to determine your key weakness,"  
  
"We can't fly?" said Fred.  
  
"Or shoot lasers out of our eyes?" asked Toad.  
  
"Or that we have to put up with a sycophantic little troll for a leader?" Lance said.  
  
"No, no, and no," said Pietro. "Your problem is that you don't have any sense of cohesion!"  
  
"Hey," Toad interrupted. "What's with this 'your problem', yo? Ain't you a part of all this too?"  
  
"Well, yes, but since I am in charge, I have to remain more, shall we say, detached from the rest of you. I'm sure you understand," "Sure we do," growled Lance.  
  
"You know Lance, it's funny that you should mention trolls, because that brings me to how we're going to solve your, OUR cohesion problem,"  
  
"Co-what?" asked Fred. "What's wrong with not having any Japanese people here?"  
  
"Not ASIAN, Fred, you dolt! Co-HESION!" Pietro said snidely. "It means you don't stick together as a team. You're just a bunch of individuals. But we're going to solve that. Wait right here," he said, and dashed upstairs. A second later he had returned, carrying a large box. "Ok, gather 'round," he said, turning over the box and spilling its contents onto the floor.  
  
"What is all this stuff, yo?" asked Toad, holding up one of the books that had fallen out of the box. It was labeled, "Monster's Compendium,"  
  
"And what are these funny looking pebbles for?" asked Fred, fiddling with several small objects. They were all shaped to resemble different-sided polyhedrons and had numbers on the sides of them.  
  
"They're not pebbles, Freddy, they're dice. We'll need them for a little game we're going to play. It's called 'Dungeons and Dragons'"  
  
Lance looked at Pietro had gone insane. Pietro had cooked up a bunch of horrible training exercises before but this had to be the absolute worst.  
  
"You HAVE to be kidding!" he said.  
  
"Not at all! This will teach you to evaluate problems and make better decisions as a team," Pietro said.  
  
"Come on, Pietro! Only little kids and nerds who still live in their parents' basements when they're in college play this game!" Lance protested.  
  
"And so will we," Pietro said. "Now, everybody sit down and take a piece of paper, and we'll start drawing up your characters,"  
  
"Come on, Lance," Fred said. "This won't be as bad as the other stuff he's had us do. It's not like he's asking us to build a tank or anything,"  
  
Lance grumbled but decided to go along with the game for the time being.  
  
"Ok, now the first step is to assign you what classes you will be,"  
  
"Hey, wait a minute!" said Toad. "If this is gonna be like school then forget it!"  
  
"No, Toad," Pietro said, trying to mask the impatience in his voice. "We're not talking about school. I'm going to give you a character to play of a certain race. For instance, you're going to be an elf,"  
  
"No way!" said Toad. "I'm not gonna be a stinkin' elf, yo! I don't wanna wind up looking like Kurt!"  
  
"Alright, fine," sighed Pietro. "You're a hobgoblin,"  
  
"That's more like it," said Toad. "Um, what's a hobgoblin, anyway?"  
  
"It's a cranky, disgusting creature that tends to attract insects," said Pietro.  
  
"Hey, that's perfect!" said Toad.  
  
"Right, Toad," Pietro said, and went on to Fred and Lance. Like Toad, he created characters that mirrored their real-life appearances, so Fred had been a half-giant while Lance had wound up as a Ranger.  
  
"So what's your character, Pietro?" asked Fred.  
  
"I'm the Dungeon Master. Think of me as the narrator. I moderate the action and control what's going on,"  
  
"How appropriate," muttered Lance.  
  
Pietro ignored Lance and got the game started. "Ok. You've been staying at an inn in a village for two nights. From all the conversations you've overheard, you've gathered that there's a castle a few miles north of the village that is the home of a huge treasure. It's a bright morning, the perfect day to go on a quest,"  
  
"Well what are we waiting for?" asked Fred. "Let's go!"  
  
Pietro rolled his eyes. This could be a long day. He decided to let them learn their lessons the hard way.  
  
"Ok, you set out for the castle. A half-hour after you leave the village, you are set upon by a band of robbers. Since none of you are armed, you are unable to defend yourself and are all killed,"  
  
"What?" shouted Toad.  
  
"See, this is what I mean," said Pietro "You tend to rush into things without taking any time to plan them out. No wonder we've only beaten the X- Geeks once. Now, let's start over and try and think things through a little better,"  
  
"Ok," sighed Lance, fairly certain that his plans for the rest of the day were ruined. "We go to a weapon shop and buy some gear,"  
  
"Ok, that's more like it. Never undertake a quest without the proper equipment," said Pietro. "You walk into the sword smith's shop. There are weapons hanging on the walls, and there is a large log that serves as the shop-keeper's workbench," He then changed his voice. "Now, what will you be needing all these weapons for?" he asked, playing the role of the sword smith.  
  
"We're going up to that castle to look for treasure, yo!" said Toad.  
  
"Well," said Pietro, keeping up the character. "If you're heading up there, you'd best take along some mandrake brew. Rumor has it that there's a monster living there that can turn men into stone! I've sold weapons to many people who've tried to bring back that treasure, and none of them has returned,"  
  
"How much is it?" asked Lance.  
  
"I don't have any here; I sold my last batch to a band of youngsters who went up there two months ago. Funny group, they were. One of them looked kind of like a demon, and another had some strange-looking mask on over his eyes. Must have been magical,"  
  
"Hey, that sounds like the X-Geeks, yo!" observed Toad.  
  
"You didn't tell us you'd played this game with the X-geeks, Pietro!" said Fred.  
  
"Jeez, Fred, relax! I was just trying to get creative!" Pietro said, breaking character. "Now can we get back to the game, please?"  
  
"Fine. So what happened to them?" asked Lance.  
  
"Well, I don't really know. You see, they never came back. I can only imagine that they got turned into stone just like everybody else, even with the mandrake brew. But there's always a chance that they're still alive and trapped in the dungeons in the castle's basement," Pietro said, getting back into character. "You know, those kids were travelers just like you, and I think they were pretty popular wherever it was they came from. If you were to rescue them, I'm sure you'd be well rewarded,"  
  
"Rescue the X-geeks? You can't be serious," said Lance.  
  
"Well, it's your quest, not mine," said Pietro. "Anyway, if you want to find some mandrake brew, I'd suggest you look here," Pietro sketched out a map on a piece of paper and handed it to Lance. "There's a witch who lives here that can make all sorts of potions. If I were you, I'd head there first,"  
  
Pietro then proceeded to 'sell' weapons to the party, giving Lance a long sword and Toad a dagger, as well as armor for the both of them. "Unfortunately, I don't carry anything suitable for your giant,"  
  
"No problem," said Fred. "I just pick up the work bench!"  
  
"Good thinking, Fred," said Pietro, reverting to DM mode. "You pay for your purchases and leave, ignoring the shop keeper's protests. You are now ready to set out on your quest,"  
  
Next time: The quest begins, and Wanda gets into the action. 


	2. Which Witch?

"So now it's time for you to start your quest," said Pietro. "Remember what the sword smith told you about finding the mandrake brew before you go to the castle. How do you want to proceed?"  
  
"All right," said Lance. "Let's go find some of this mandrake stuff,"  
  
"You set off through the forest to find the witch the sword smith told you about," Pietro said. "Along the way, you encounter a group of robbers, just back from attacking another group of travelers,"  
  
"Not again," muttered Toad.  
  
"Hey, chill. We've got weapons this time," said Lance. "We fight the robbers,"  
  
"Ok, roll the attack dice and we'll see what happens," said Pietro.  
  
"Why do we need dice, anyway?" asked Fred. "Why can't we just attack them already?"  
  
"Yeah," chimed in Toad. "Nobody rolls dice when they get in a fight in real life, yo,"  
  
"Well, this isn't real life," said Pietro. "If it were, you would have just used your powers and scared them off. But that's not how the game works. Now roll!"  
  
"Whatever," said Lance, rolling a pair of dice. 'I can just picture our next fight with the X-geeks. When they start shooting at us, we'll just fight back with our Dice Powers,"  
  
"Come ON, Lance, try and get in the spirit of things," chided Pietro. "Ok, you rolled an 84. That's pretty good,"  
  
"So what happens?" asked Fred.  
  
"The lead robber rushes right at you, Fred, but you swing your club and smash him into next week. The other robbers realize that they might be better off running away. As they flee, one of them drops a bag,"  
  
"What's in it?" asked Toad.  
  
"The bag is heavy to pick up, even though it's just a normal-sized sack. As you pick it up, you hear something rattling around inside,"  
  
"Well, let's open it up," said Fred.  
  
"As you go to open the bag, you notice an inscription on the bag in an incomprehensible language,"  
  
"What's it say?" asked Toad. "You can't read it," said Pietro. "That's what incomprehensible means,"  
  
"Well, either way, let's open it," said Toad.  
  
"Hang on!" said Lance. "Maybe it's some kind of warning. I saw in one of these books that bags and stuff could have curses on them. Let's save it for later. Maybe that witch can figure out what it means,"  
  
"Alright. You decide to save it for later and continue on your way," said Pietro. "After walking for a couple hours, you come to a small cottage. There is smoke coming out of the chimney and you can see candles in the window,"  
  
"Is it a gingerbread house?" asked Fred.  
  
"What?" asked Lance.  
  
"Hey, I haven't eaten since we started playing this game!"  
  
"That was only 20 minutes ago!"  
  
"Well, sorry Lance, but you know me," said Fred.  
  
"Right," said Lance. "We knock on the door,"  
  
"As you lift your hand to knock, the door swings open mysteriously. There is nobody to greet you. The inside of the house is dimly lit, but you can see a faint light at the far side,"  
  
"Let's go in," said Lance.  
  
"You step inside and wait a moment for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. Looking around the room, you can make out skulls resting on tables and benches. There is a large shelf filled with bottles, and you can see a few bats dangling from the rafters,"  
  
"Man, I don't like this place," said Toad. "Let's get out of here before this witch turns us into snakes or some other weird creatures,"  
  
"In your case, that'd be an improvement," said Lance. "Come on, let's see what's behind that curtain,"  
  
"You pull open the curtain and see a tall chair behind a table. It slowly turns around to reveal,"  
  
Just then, the door blew open and Wanda walked in with an angry look on her face.  
  
"Wanda! Sweetums! You're home!" said Toad ecstatically, leaping over to her side and putting his hand around her shoulder. "Have I told you how much I've missed you?"  
  
"Ugh!" said Wanda, swatting Toad's hand away. "What are you doing just sitting there?" she asked.  
  
"Hey sis, you're just in time to join us in a little training exercise," said Pietro. "We're playing Dungeons & Dragons to develop better teamwork, and I've got just the character for you. You're going to be a witch,"  
  
"Ok," said Wanda, to the surprise of everybody but Pietro. Normally, she would have started shooting hex bolts at everything that moved at the prospect of her playing along in Pietro's games. But ever since Magneto had altered her memory, she had been much easier to get along with. "So what's the story?"  
  
"Well, Lance, Fred and Toad are going on a quest to a castle to find some treasure. They've come to you to get some mandrake brew so they won't get turned to stone by the monster that lives there,"  
  
"Well, they're in luck," said Wanda, jumping right into character. "Not only do I happen to have some mandrake brew, but I've been up to that castle myself a few times. You should take me along with you,"  
  
"Alright, but this was all our idea, so don't expect us to give you much treasure," said Lance foolishly.  
  
Wanda's eyes went dark when she heard this. "What? I want a third of whatever's up there, or I'll turn you to stone myself!"  
  
"Now now, teamwork!" said Pietro, trying to calm things down. "Remember Lance, she's a witch. She has powers, you don't,"  
  
"All right, we'll give you a third," said Lance.  
  
"Good," said Wanda.  
  
"Now, have you given any thought as to what you're going to do about the other party that's up there?" asked Pietro.  
  
"What other party?" asked Wanda.  
  
"Oh, Pietro somehow wrote the X-geeks into the story," said Lance.  
  
"Well, maybe we should rescue them," said Wanda.  
  
"What? Rescue the X-geeks?" asked Toad. Magneto must have REALLY screwed her mind up.  
  
"Why not?" asked Wanda. "Besides, we may need help if we run into that monster,"  
  
"I can't believe we're going to rescue the X-geeks, Wanda," said Lance. "But all right. If they're there, and we have a chance, we'll try and spring them. But only if Kitty's with them!"  
  
Next time: The party arrives at the castle and encounters a familiar character. Can they rescue the X-Men from becoming a monster's snack, or will they wind up as the main course themselves? 


	3. Familiar Faces

Pietro quickly brought Wanda up to speed on the events of the game thusfar, and then continued the story.  
  
"You come to the gate of the castle," he said. "It's a typical gothic-style castle, with large towers and gargoyles perched high up on the roof. The doors are made of thick iron. How do you proceed?"  
  
"I rip the doors off!" said Fred.  
  
"Um, maybe we should look for a back door, yo?" suggested Toad.  
  
"Ah, let him. Best way in is through the front," said Lance.  
  
"I really don't think that's such a good." Wanda started.  
  
"Too late," said Pietro as he revealed what lie in store for the party. "As Fred knocks down the door, the ground you are standing on collapses. You fall down a tunnel and land in a dark basement,"  
  
"Idea," she finished.  
  
"I told you we should have tried another way in!" said Toad.  
  
"Ok, shut up! We'll find a way out of here,"  
  
"Are there any torches on the wall we could use for light?" asked Wanda.  
  
"No," said Pietro. "The only light is coming from the hole way above your heads,"  
  
"Great," said Wanda. "Alright, I'm a witch, so I cast a spell to light up the room,"  
  
'You raise your hand and chant a few words, and a ball of light appears in your hand. It is sufficient enough to light the room,"  
  
"What all can we see?" asked Lance.  
  
"The room is empty. There is a staircase at one end, with some runes carved in the wall next to it,"  
  
"Can Wanda read them?"  
  
"Yes. They say, 'Dungeon, downstairs',"  
  
"That must be where the X-geeks are," said Lance. "We go downstairs,"  
  
"You walk down the twisty staircase. It opens into a very large room. From where you are, you can make out a long row of iron bars at the far end of the room,"  
  
"That must be the X-geeks," said Fred.  
  
"Ok, we might as well break them out. We walk over to the cells," said Lance.  
  
Pietro grinned. Lance could always be counted on to be impatient and direct. He sprang another trap on them.  
  
"As you take walk across the chamber, you step on a strange looking tile in the middle of the room. The tile sinks into the floor and you hear a loud grinding sound as the walls start to slide together,"  
  
"Oh no!" cried Toad. "We're gonna be squashed, yo!"  
  
"I try and keep the walls from crushing us!" Fred said.  
  
"Ok, we need to do a strength check. "Roll," Pietro said, handing Fred a die.  
  
Fred rolled and came up with a four. "What's that mean?" he asked.  
  
Pietro shook his head glumly. "Sadly, even a giant's strength isn't enough to overcome this trap. The walls come together, crushing you flat,"  
  
"Well, that's over with," said Lance, starting to get up. "Who wants to go to the drive-through?"  
  
"Sit down!" shouted Pietro. "The game's not over yet,"  
  
"Hello genius, you just killed us!" said Lance. "What else is there to do?"  
  
"Believe me, as much as I'd like to kill you, the point of this game is for you guys to learn a lesson in teamwork and strategy. Clearly, we still have a long way to go. Now, let's try this part again,"  
  
Lance rolled his eyes; this could take all week.  
  
"Ok," he said irritably. "We check the room for traps this time,"  
  
Pietro nodded. "You make your way over to the cells much more carefully, and are able to avoid setting off any traps,"  
  
"Who's in the cells?"  
  
"There are four cells, one person in each one. The first has a man in leather clothes, wearing a mask over his eyes. The second has a woman in a long cloak with red hair. The third has a small girl in green tights, and the fourth has a man covered with blue fur and a tail. None of them have any weapons or armor. They see you and ask you to let them out,"  
  
"Well?" asked Wanda. "I don't suppose we have a key?"  
  
"No," said Pietro. "You don't see any way of unlocking the cells,"  
  
"Guess I'll have to break them out," said Fred.  
  
"Hang on, there could be more traps," said Lance. "Wanda, check and see if there are any spells on the doors,"  
  
"Good, you're learning," Pietro said. "Wanda checks the cells, but they're clear of magic,"  
  
"Ok, Freddy, let them out,"  
  
"Fred rips off the cell doors and the prisoners walk out. The man in the mask walks up to you," Pietro said, and then shifted roles. "Thank you so much!" he said, almost groveling. He quickly changed his voice to that of a woman's. "I thought we were never going to get out of here!"  
  
Fred, Lance, Toad, and Wanda all looked at Pietro, slightly disturbed by his skills at vocal mimicry. Finally, Fred spoke up.  
  
"Wow, Pietro, you sounded just like Jean!"  
  
"Yeah, pretty good, ain't I?" grinned Pietro.  
  
"So is that why you keep a dress and a red wig in your closet?" asked Lance.  
  
"WHAT?" yelled Pietro, his eyes tripling in size.  
  
"Yeah, we found them in your closet a while ago while we were, uh, straightening up the place," said Toad. "We kinda figured you were dressing up like her or something,"  
  
"Listen, I don't know what you're talking about!" said Pietro frantically.  
  
"Well, we always did wonder what was going on when we heard you and her having those discussions late at night," said Toad. "We would have asked you about them, but it sounded like you were having too good a time pretending to be her,"  
  
"I've never seen those before in my life! Somebody's trying to frame me, I tell you!" Pietro shouted, his secret out.  
  
"Relax, Pietro," said Lance, chuckling at this tidbit of information. "We promise we won't tell Magneto that his son likes to dress up and pretend he's one of his arch enemies,"  
  
"Especially THAT one, yo," said Toad.  
  
"Uh, thanks guys. I think," said Pietro, slowly calming down. "Let's uh, just get on with the game, shall we?"  
  
"Whatever you say," Lance said. 


	4. Dungeon Mastered

Pietro resumed the game after recovering from his shock, and took on the role of the girl in the green. "So, like, are you going to take us with you?"  
  
Lance shuddered a bit. He would have sworn that that had been Kitty talking if he had had his eyes closed. Pietro's mimicry skills were starting to creep him out. "I suppose. No point in leaving you here," he said, then got an idea. Since these obviously WEREN'T the X-geeks,  
  
"Hey Pietro, let me talk to the guy in the mask a second,"  
  
"Just a," Pietro said, his voice squeaky from doing Kitty. He cleared his throat and started over. "Just a sec. Ok, what do you want to ask him?"  
  
"Hey, why do you have that mask over your eyes?" Lance asked.  
  
"The man scratches his head and shrugs his shoulders," Pietro said, then switched voices. "'I don't really know. I thought it just made me look kinda cool  
  
"Yeah, well you should think again," said Lance. "You look like a dork!"  
  
"'You know, you're right,' the man says, and takes the mask off and tosses it away,"  
  
"Ok, let's try and find this treasure," said Lance.  
  
"Let me talk to the prisoners really quick," said Wanda. "Where were you guys looking, and how'd you wind up down here?"  
  
"Ve vere searching upstairs when the sorcerer caught us," Pietro said, doing a perfect Kurt.  
  
"Did you get a look at the monster?" asked Wanda.  
  
"No. He just cast a spell on us, and the next thing ve knew, ve vere down here,"  
  
"Ok, let's head upstairs, but be careful!" Wanda advised.  
  
"You walk back up the stairs and go up a floor from the room you landed in. The stairs open into a great hall. There are two rows of pillars that cover the length of the hall. You can see a row of weapons hanging up on one of the walls. The prisoners inform you that that is their equipment,"  
  
"We go get the stuff, AFTER we make sure there aren't any traps around,"  
  
"As you approach the weapons, you catch sight of a thin wire running across the floor. You can see that it is connected to a large cage hanging from the ceiling,"  
  
"We step over it," said Lance.  
  
"Good, you avoided that one. You are able to recover the equipment without any problems, and the former prisoners are now armed again. They tell you that the treasure room is at the far end of the hall,"  
  
"We head that way,"  
  
"You walk across the hall and come to a door. The door has a large X on it, but you can't see any way of opening it,"  
  
"Maybe there's a spell on it," said Fred. "Can Wanda break the spell?"  
  
"Wanda tries a few opening spells, but the door stays firmly shut,"  
  
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Fred said. "Friend!"  
  
"What?" asked Lance.  
  
"Something I read in a book once," Fred explained.  
  
"Sorry Freddy, wrong story. The door's still shut,"  
  
"Well, now what?" asked Lance.  
  
Pietro cleared his throat and spoke in Kurt's voice again. "I believe I know the password. Ahem. Neener, neener, neener," he spoke.  
  
"What kind of password is that, yo?" asked Toad.  
  
"The one that opens the door," said Pietro. "The treasure room is now open. You can see piles of gold and jewels all over the place,"  
  
"Sweet!" said Wanda. "Let's load up,"  
  
Pietro grinned. Now the fun was going to start.  
  
"You step across the threshold and the room begins to fill up with smoke. When it clears, you can see a tall man with a bald head standing in front of you, holding a tall wooden staff,"  
  
"That must be the sorcerer!" said Fred.  
  
Pietro did another voice, this one that of an older man. "Fools! All who try and steal the treasure of Xaverkon shall perish!"  
  
"Ok, Pietro, you can cut out the imitations now," said Lance.  
  
"Jeez, lighten up. They add some fun to the game!"  
  
"PIETRO!"  
  
"Alright! Anyway, the sorcerer's here and he's not happy. What do you do?"  
  
"8 to 1? We can take him, yo!"  
  
"That's amazing, Toad! I didn't know you could count that high!" Pietro said sarcastically. "As you rush the sorcerer, he twirls his staff around his head. Behind you, a giant green dragon appears, smoke pouring from its nostrils,"  
  
"Oops, so much for that advantage," muttered Toad.  
  
Wanda began to flip through the Monster's Compendium for information about the dragon, but Lance decided to attack it without waiting.  
  
"No, no, no!" said Pietro. "This is the monster that can turn you to stone! You can't just fight something like this hand to hand! And I'm sure Wanda would have told you the same thing if you had given her a moment to read about green dragons in the book! Now, I'm going to spare you the grisly details of your most recent deaths and give you a chance to come up with a plan. Think things over and let me know when you're ready to proceed,"  
  
Lance had had enough of this game. "Ok, come here, everybody, here's what we're going to do," The four Brotherhood members huddled together, and Lance told them what he had in mind.  
  
Pietro was glad to see the four finally working together to plan out their strategy. Finally, he thought, they're figuring out what it means to be a team. He ignored the giggles that came from the huddle, still lost in his own thoughts. If I can teach these four to work together, Magneto will have to let them, "Hey!" he shouted as he suddenly went blind. "I can't see!" He pawed at his eyes and felt a thick, slimy substance covering his face.  
  
"Toad! Why did you spit slime at me?" he asked angrily. "When Magneto hears about this, heEEEEE!!!" His voice suddenly jumped multiple octaves as Fred gave him a Blob-sized wedgie. "What's going on?" he asked in a much more feminine voice than normal.  
  
"I'm showing you my plan!" Lance said.  
  
Pietro felt the sensation of being lifted off the ground as Fred picked him up and hung him by his underwear from the ceiling fan.  
  
"Hope you're comfy!" Lance said, fishing Pietro's wallet out of his pants. "Who's up for some burgers?"  
  
"Give that back!" Pietro shouted, his voice still shrill. "Father's card is overcharged for this month! He'll kill me when he sees the bill!"  
  
"Eh, not our problem, yo," Toad said, hopping out the door after Lance.  
  
"Hey, look on the bright side, bro," said Wanda. "Now you can work on your Jean impressions to your heart's content!" she laughed, and she and Fred walked out the door, leaving Pietro by himself.  
  
"You'll pay for this! Just wait till I get down!" Pietro squeaked. A few minutes later, the door cracked open and Remy walked in.  
  
"Pietro, I have some news for. oh my!" said the Cajun.  
  
"Remy! Thank God! Get me down from here!" Pietro pleaded.  
  
Remy burst out laughing at the site of the boy wonder hanging from the fan. "Well, well, well, Magneto is going to be VERY thrilled when he hears about this!" he laughed. "I'm sure he'll be glad to hear how his son, or should I say, his daughter is setting such a good example for the rest of those young hooligans,"  
  
Still laughing, Remy turned and walked back out the door, and Pietro's girlish screams echoed through the empty house as he spun slowly, slowly around.  
  
Coming up next: Ok, I've run out of ideas to continue my little comedy jaunt, so I'm going to go back to some more serious stuff. After I finish Temporal Mechanical Difficulties (nearly complete now), I'm going to start on two new mutant stories: one about a boy who can walk on air and another about a girl who gets transformed by one of Magneto's experiments. Enjoy! 


End file.
